A smiling confident woman wearing a bikini top with uneven breasts Close up of a woman's chest while she is pulling up her shirt. One breast appears to be larger than the other.

A woman’s breasts are usually not the same size

More than 90% of women have breasts that are different from each other in size, shape, or position on their chest. It’s usually the left breast that’s larger, and in almost 25% of women, the larger breast is at least one cup size bigger than the other. This can make bra shopping quite a challenge.

Over the course of a woman’s lifetime, her breast size will change up to six or seven times.

Also, a woman’s hormones influence almost every aspect of her breasts. This is why it’s perfectly normal for women’s breasts to change in consistency and sensitivity from week to week during each menstrual cycle.

The NSFW part of the image gallery is by Lee Meier from Portland Oregon. If you need a professional photographer for a wedding, portrait, Z-card, or for a special occasion or event, contact Lee at Mono Graphics Studios.

A very messy bedroom.

Living with Your Parents? A free chapter on having sex in your parents’ home

Most young adults either got married soon after college or they got an apartment or lived with roommates. Or they moved out after high school. But that has changed, and it’s changed in a big way.

Researchers have found that more young adults are living with their parents than ever before.

If that’s your situation, CLICK HERE for a free chapter Sex after You Move Back Home from the Guide To Getting It On.  It covers the issues—and solutions—for dealing with sex under your parents’ roof after you move back home.

More praise for our Clitoris video!

“This is one of the best videos I have reviewed in years on the role of the clitoris in sex.” —Dr. Michael Perelman, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Reproductive Medicine, and Urology at the NY Weill Medical College of Cornell University, former President of The Society for Sex Therapy and Research and a Fellow of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America and the International Society for Study of Women’s Sexual Health.

“This video is wonderful!  Super comprehensive and engaging. This is so needed.” —Heather McPherson M.A., LPC-S, LMFT, Southwest Sexual Health Alliance

“Awesome! Great info, and I love the editing on the video.” —Dr. Jill
McDevitt, www.TheSexologist.org

—To watch on YouTube, Click Here.

Image of a young woman lying on a couch hugging a stuffed heart.

“Women, what’s the strangest thing you’ve masturbated with?”—askReddit

Once a young woman gets to be in her twenties, she usually has access to more traditional types of sex toys for masturbation, e.g. vibrators and/or dildos. But before then, the type and variety of objects that younger women use to get themselves off with is jaw-droppingly impressive.

About a month ago, one of the askReddit questions was “Women, what’s the strangest thing you’ve masturbated with?” There have been more than 4,000 responses. Here are some of them:

~I used to have a bed with a ball on the post (the post was only about about 2 feet high and the ball on the post was quite small) and I remember using that.

~One of those tubes of M&M minis before I was old enough to buy a real sex toy. It worked well. I think they still sell these.

~A toy Gandalf. Technically it wasn’t really masturbation I just wanted to see if he would fit. When I first put him down there he wasn’t sure which hole to go in.

~A blanket pulled tight up between my legs that I humped at til I came. It was awesome.

~A pillow. I’m 22 and it still gives me a better orgasm than any of my actual toys.

~An electric toothbrush.

~One time when I was 14 I straddled a huge Scooby-Doo I won at Kings Island and road him to Kingdom Cum. I only got to do it once though because I busted him open. I was cleaning up that weird foam filler for weeks.

~I found a finished roll of one of those sticky lint removers, and the handle was pretty phallic shaped. To keep it even smoother and easier to use I took a rubber glove and put one of the fingers over the handle and just tied the rest around the non usable portion. It worked pretty well when I was 16 until I finally got the courage to just go buy a real dildo.

~A prismacolor marker in powder blue that I dipped in wax several times to increase the width. I then wrapped it in saran wrap and went to town…

~N64 controller with a Rumble Pak. I just walked Mario into a corner and rumbled away. (This was 15 years ago.)

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  • Snapcode for following us on Snapchat.

Snap Away!

No one has ever tried to do sex-ed on Snapchat before. (Sexting—yes. Sex Ed—no.) So please follow us in going boldly where no sex educator has gone before!

A man and two women sitting next to each other on a wooden fence, with the woman in the middle thinking she and the man have their arms wrapped around each other, but he and the woman on the end are secretly holding hands.

Infidelity? An Important Resource If One of You Has Cheated

It’s one thing when a couple has an agreement that it’s okay to have sex with other people. But when your partner assumes your relationship is monogamous and you have sex with someone else, it’s usually a really big deal.

If you or your parter have cheated and the two of you are trying to save your relationship, I’d strongly recommend that you listen to a one-hour webinar by Dr. Marty Klien titled Infidelity: After the affair, who owns the relationship?

This webinar costs $49, which is less than dinner and a movie. You’ll be hearing the wisdom of one of the world’s most experienced and thoughtful therapists who has worked with hundreds of couples who have been in the same boat as you are in now.

Dr. Klein’s presentation was created for therapists, but I think it’s great for couples, as long as you are willing to deal with reality as opposed to needing hand holding and reassurance. This presentation will give you a place to begin having the kind of conversations that are essential if you want to stay together.

Here’s a summary of what Dr. Klein covers—Instead of seeing infidelity as involving one selfish person and one victim, we’ll examine the following:

  • Why are affairs so common?
  • The typical belief that the betrayed acquires power as a result of being betrayed
  • How much is sex an issue in most affairs? How can we treat desire discrepancies?
  • How can we get couples to reconcile as partners rather than as adversaries?
  • “That’s not infidelity, it’s just internet chat!”
  • Drawing and maintaining boundaries around the wounded relationship
  • The existential issues confronting both parties when there’s been an affair—and why it’s crucial to address these
  • You’ll learn fresh ways of looking at affairs, fidelity, and sexuality—so that you can better evaluate patients, sort out individual and relationship issues, and help people heal from the experiences of powerlessness, grief, rage, and damaged self-esteem that are common on both sides of betrayal.

Click on More Information and Registration, then scroll down to the Video Webinar Series—Buy Now option. It’s on the website of the Southwest Sexual Health Alliance, which is where the seminar was held.

An image of a woman giving a guy oral sex, with the caption "Why is this okay" next to an image of a man giving a woman oral sex, and the caption "But not this?"

Blowjobs are good, but not going down on a woman?

A recent study of young adults from the UK found that both men and women consider performing oral sex on a woman to be a “far bigger deal” than performing oral sex on a man.

“Many young men referred to vulvas negatively — as ‘dirty,’ ‘disgusting,’ ‘nasty,’ ‘droopy,’ ‘messy,’ ‘saggy,’ ‘stinking,'” the study’s authors write. As one 18-year-old man who participated in the study reported, “[If] a guy does it to a girl… boy, is his life over, because everyone knows about it.”

Women said they were aware of the male views, and that this made them less likely to enjoy receiving oral sex.

From Refinery 29 by Hayley MacMillen.


Everything You Ever Wanted To Know about Hymens

I just received a comment from an expert on the hymen whose study I had quoted a couple of years ago in a post I did for the Psychology Today Blogs: The New York Times Is Wrong about Hymens—But They Are Not Alone (see below). Here are her kind words that I think you’ll find very helpful:


I found your article on hymens to be refreshingly accurate. I am a Pediatrician whose specialty for the past 28 years has been the medical evaluation of suspected child sexual abuse. The article you quoted about adolescent girls with and without a history of consensual intercourse is mine.

There are actually 2 myths about the hymen; one dangerous and one protective for women:

The first and oldest myth is that the hymen always breaks the first time a woman has vaginal intercourse, and will bleed. The second is that athletics or tampons can break the hymen. These are not supported by any evidence whatsoever.

The hymen is stretchy!!! That is why most women don’t bleed after their first time.

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  • Image of a woman looking into her panties with a magnifying glass.
  • Close-up image of a woman from the navel to her thighs, holding up a sign in front of her crotch that says "Wet!" while showing a thumbs up sign with her other hand.

How wet do women get when they are not aroused?

A gynecologist who consults for my book says you wouldn’t believe how many women think their vaginas should be dry except when they are feeling sexually aroused.

Here’s the reality: it’s not unusual or abnormal for there to be enough discharge from a woman’s vagina to dry on her underwear or to soak through it. This is not a result of sexual arousal. It’s what vaginas do, and it’s happening all of the time. Secretions are the body’s way of doing maintence on a woman’s uterus and vagina.

According to the University of Illinois, “Normal discharge may appear clear, cloudy white, and/or yellowish when dry on clothing. It may also contain white flecks and at times may be thin and stringy.” This can vary depending on where a woman is during her menstrual cycle, with changes in her diet, emotional stressors, taking medications including the pill, and pregnancy.

Image showing a condom being hung to dry on a clothesline.

Never reuse them

Condoms are only meant to be driven once. And never use a condom for intercourse that’s been on a penis for oral sex. It’s easy to make tiny tears in the material with your teeth.

Johnsons & Johnsons baby powder and Shower to Shower containers superimposed over a woman's bikini with a red diagonal "No" symbol running through it.

Talc and Ovarian Cancer

A jury in Missouri has awarded $72 million to the family of a woman who died from ovarian cancer. The woman had dusted her crotch with talc from Johnson & Johnson for much of life, just like millons of women do in the US, Canada and the UK.

It didn’t help Johnson & Johnson’s case that one of their medical consultants informed them in 1997 that “Anybody who denies the risk of using hygienic talc and ovarian cancer will be publicly perceived in the same light as those who denied a link between smoking cigarettes and cancer; denying the obvious in the face of all evidence to the contrary.”

Then there was the esteemed gynecologist from Harvard who stated that powdering female genitals with talc could be a contributing factor in 10,000 cases of ovarian cancer each year. Oops!

Powder giant Johnson & Johnson disagreed, as has much of the media who keeps repeating the tired statement that the cancer-causing culprit in talc was asbestos, which has been filtered out of talc since the 1970s. They forget to mention that silica, which can be found in some forms of talc, is listed as a cancer causing agent. They also seem to gloss over the fact that the jury only needed to deliberate for five hours before finding Johnson & Johnson guilty.

Why hasn’t Johnson & Johnson warned women about the possible dangers of using talc on their crotches? Why would they, given their recent history of being fined billions of dollars for misrepresenting their drug Risperdal, and for their recalls of Rolaids, Mylanta, Tylenol, Benadryl, Acuvue contac lenses, failing hip replacements, and losing or destroying thousands of key documents related to their defective vaginal mesh products.

How dangerous is it for a woman to directly powder her genitals, or powder her pads with talc, or to use talc-containing sprays? Some studies say there is a link between talc and ovarian cancer, others aren’t so sure. As for relative risks, using talc on female genitals is not nearly as dangerous as smoking a pack of cigaretts a day, and maybe not even as dangerous as drinking the water in Flynt Michigan.

So if you use talc on your genitals, it’s unlikely you’ll be joining the thousand or so women with ovarian cancer who have filed lawsuits against Johnson and Johnson—or that your family will be joining the families of these women after they died.

This leaves us with the question of why would a woman feel she needs to powder her genitals at all, and are there safer alternatives?

In China, which is the world’s leading producer of talc, only 2.2% of women dust their crotches with talc. In the US, Canada, and the UK, almost 50% of women use talc on their genitals. For starters, Chinese women haven’t been bombarded with ads like these for the past 100 years:

  • Feminine hygiene ad featuring Kathy Rigby: "Some women never have to think twice about menstrual odor."
  • Vintage feminine hygiene ad featuring a nurse saying to a perplexed young wife "You see, Dear, there's a grave womanly offense that's rarely discussed."
  • Vintage feminine hygiene ad: "The trickiest deodorant problem a girl has in't under her pretty little armpits."
  • Vintage feminine hygiene ad: Another love-match shipwrecked do to feminine odor because the woman did not douche with Lysol.
  • Vintage feminine hygiene ad: "Me, intimate odor?"
  • Vintage feminine hygiene ad: "That other you could wreck your marriage" if you don't douche with lysol.
  • Vintage feminine hygiene ad: Your husband could lock you out if you don't use Lysol to douche with.

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Illustration of a penis with hypospadias showing the urethra exiting before the head of the penis.

Hypospadias explained

Hypospadias is one of the most common birth anomalies there is. It occurs in 1 out of every 125 to 250 boys, although mild forms of hypospadias may be even more common than this.

Hypospadias is a condition where the urethra doesn’t go to the end of the penis. The urethra is the tube inside the penis that urine and semen pass through. In mild cases of hypospadias, the urethra comes out near the end of the penis, but not quite. In more severe cases, it can come out anywhere from below the head of the penis to the area between the scrotum and anus which is called the anogential region.

It makes sense that hypospadias occurs on the bottom side of the penis where nature left what appears to be a long seam. The seam occurs when the penis is forming in the fetus. It’s just below where the urethra goes. As part of fetal development, nature fuses or “zips up” the shaft and head of penis to make it look more like a sausage. Where there is hypospadias, the urethra got caught in the seam.

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Black and white image of a man intimately kissing a woman.

“I can f#ck any Tom, Dick or Harry any day of the week, but I won’t kiss just anyone.”

From A Kiss Can’t Lie: Why Kissing Is Far More Intimate Than Having Sex by Zara Barrie in Elite Daily:

“You can have sex without even looking your partner in the eye. But kisses are built on nothing but feelings.”

“It’s hard for me to snog (kiss) someone I don’t like, but it’s easy for me to shag (fuck) him. When I’m shagging, I can just shut my eyes and get on with it.”

Here’s our very own video on kissing:

Photo of a guy wearing a cap who is giving a woman oral sex.

Her first time receiving oral sex

A young woman’s answer to our sex survey question “Please describe one or two of your best sexual experiences”:

“The first time my boyfriend went down on me, I was caught completely off guard. We had been making out and he had been fingering me. When he asked if he should keep going I said, ‘Yes,’ thinking he meant doing the same. Then he began pulling down my pants and underwear and I remember thinking that I didn’t expect that but I didn’t want him to stop. As it was happening, I realized it was the first time I’d ever been naked in front of someone this way, and I instinctively covered my face with my hands. I suddenly felt overexposed. When I looked at him, he smiled at me—sweetly, reassuringly, making sure I was still okay. As he started going down I remember thinking, ‘Is this really happening?!’ The sensation was alien. The novelty of the situation prevented me from fully appreciating the sexual stimulation. But the emotional intimacy was so electric and pure that the experience was transcendent and will stay with me always.”

This very cool image is of Karly and Sean from the What You See Fit Tumblr.

  • A guy without a shirt who's unzipped his pants. He is wearing no underwear, and you can see his pubic hair.
  • A couple naked and standing together, with a focus on their public hair.
  • The profile of a woman who is laying on a bed, showing her pubic hair.
  • An interesting close up of a woman's pubic hair.
  • A woman's mons pubis and pubic hair protruding above the water while she's in the bath.

Contrary to what many teens & young adults assume, it’s normal to have pubic hair

The people in slideshow above are from the Tumblr Slide To Unlock. They are a creative couple from the UK who have been married for more than ten years. They created their Tumblr as a chronicle of their sex life.

  • Couple in the shower kissing.
  • Couple in the shower kissing.
  • Couple in the shower kissing.

How to make sex in the shower safer and more satisfying

GET GRIPPER BARS! Get ADA approved gripper bars for shower sex. The person on the receiving end can lean forward and grab the bar while the person behind is thrusting.

These bars are less than $25: Moen 8942 Home Care 42-Inch Grab Bar Stainless 42 inches (4.8 out of 5 stars from 158 reviews on Amazon, but none mention sex).

Also: Moen 8736 Home Care 36-Inch Grab Bar, Stainless , 18″ to 42,” (4.8 out of 5 stars from 322 reviews, but none mention sex).

These Moen Saftey Bars are rated at 500 lbs. pull strength and are ADA compliant—not that the ADA rates equipment for its sex-worthiness.

The words "Sex and autism" boldly displayed in 3d type with an abstract blue floral background.

Sex, Asperger’s and Autism

Here is an extensive list of books, articles and websites that I’ve put together on sex, Asperger’s and autism.

I’ve tried to divide these resources into two parts: Part 1. For parents, teachers, therapists, teens and preteens, and Part 2. For adults with autism and their partners who may or may not have autism.

There is some crossover between the two parts, e.g. Naked Brain Ink should be in both sections. Also, you might wonder why a few of the resources I’ve listed aren’t specifically on sex and autism. I believe it’s difficult to understand more about sex and autism if you don’t have good sense of what autism is to begin with. Some of the most highly regarded books on autism in general are NeuroTribes by Steve Silberman, Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant, and anything written by Temple Grandin (I’ve listed some of her books at the end of Part 1).

Beyond separating the following resources into Part 1 and 2, there is no way I could tell which are best for your needs, so I haven’t listed them in any particular order.

Part 1. For Parents, Teachers, Therapists, Teenagers, and Preteens

Nathan and Sylvia A brief YouTube video that tells the story of a boy with autism and his autism service dog. This video isn’t about sex. It’s about love. It’s Nathan’s story in his own words about how he was struggling terribly middle school. Then his parents got him a service dog named Sylvia who helped change his life. Sylvia became Nathan’s best friend and showed him how to do more than just live with autism. Nathan is in college now, with Sylvia still by his side. (Nathan’s high school district did not want him to bring Sylvia to school with him and tried to prevent it from happening. Nathan’s parents eventually got a law passed in their state legislature to allow autism service dogs in schools.)

Here’s Nathan’s YouTube Channel Autism ACTUALLY Speaking. He gives helpful advice on subjects like coping with change, managing anxiety, and making friends.

Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities a book by Karin Melberg Schwier & Dave Hingburger

Teaching Children with Down Syndrome about Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Sexuality An excellent book by Terri Couwenhoven, who is highly regarded and respected by sex educators and therapists for her incredible knowledge and skill in working with people who are developmentally delayed or have autism-spectrum disorders.

The Growing Up Book for Boys: What Boys on the Autism Spectrum Need to Know! by Davida Hartman, one of the most respected educators for children with autism and developmental disabilities. It explains the growth spurts, body changes and mood swings of adolescence for boys aged 9-14. This is a time when bodies start acting with a will of their own, friendships change and crushes start to develop. The “Growing Up Books” use direct language and cool colour illustrations, this book helps boys understand what they need to know about growing hair in new places, shaving, wet dreams, unexpected erections, and more.

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A couple laying next to each other, with she reading a book and having one hand casually in his sweatpants, and he looking at his laptop with one hand on her leg.

A normal straight couple chillin’

This is a real life couple spending a lazy afternoon together. You’d never know that couples spend time together like this if your main source of sex-ed is porn or your way of hooking up is Tinder or Grindr.

Wether you are straight or gay, relationships in real life include lazy afternoons as well as the occasional all out sexfest. Friendship and intimacy rarely exist in porn, but they are often a central part of sex in real life relationships.

This image is from the Of the Moon and Sea Tumblr.


An Unusual Sex Survey

I’ve now collected more than 11,000 of your sex surveys.

While I have seldom found there to be a “typical” women’s survey response, the men’s survey answers tend to be more predictable. That’s why the survey I’m posting today stood out as being unusual.

This man likes having sex with women, but he is aroused by looking at penises. He posts photos of his own penis online every day. He also enjoys transgender porn and cock’n’ball torture. So if you’re a guy who is into the things this man is, you can take solace in knowing that you’re not alone.

A 32-Year Old Man

I am a sperm-donor baby and never knew my father.

I grew up identifying as straight and have only had physical/romantic relationships with women. But now I consider myself “open to all options” and have been interacting more erotically with men in online forums. I am still strongly attracted to women, but I also find men’s genitals incredibly arousing.

I have always had issues with showering and being naked with other guys. I definitely had self-confidence issues when I was growing up (I believed I was dramatically under-endowed). Now I feel nervous about the idea of being naked around other men for the opposite reason. I fear that showering or being naked with other men (in a non-erotic context) would cause me to become aroused and I would embarrass myself in a whole new way.

I’ve had four relationships, all with women: two long-term, a one-night-stand with a friend, and a friends-with-benefits situation. Some of my best sexual experiences have been simultaneous orgasms during intercourse, 69 and mutual masturbation. There’s nothing better than sharing that moment.

I masturbate 2-4 times per week, but I post erotic photos of myself online on an almost daily basis, and so I often feel like I’m in a constant state of mild arousal, regardless of actual orgasms.

I’ve learned that women’s bodies are often radically more “connected” than men’s bodies in terms of sensory arousal. Ears, necks, nipples, fingers, feet: it seems like almost any part of a woman’s body can be fair game for erotic touch, whereas I feel like my own erogenous zones are much more exclusively limited to my genitals and mouth.

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  • Heavily tattooed woman's back, bum and legs with the caption "Nice bum"
  • A bunch of naked people with their bodies attached together in a way that makes the outline of a car, with the caption "Nice Car"
  • Close up of a crocheted bikini bottom on woman with special pouches for tampons and the caption "Nice holster"
  • Image of guy with his pants open and a "I can make your bed rock" caption on the front of his Flintstones briefs, with the caption "Nice Yabba Dabba Doo."

New “Nice” Images!

CLICK HERE to see the ones that are NSFW!

A split image, with the top side showing a sandwich piled high with bean sprouts, and the lower side with semen on a man's abdomen with a finger in the middle of it. The caption reads "sprouts versus semen."

Is semen safer to swallow than sprouts?

The nation’s most prominent food safety-lawyer has made a list of the six foods he will never eat. This guy has taken on Chili’s, Chi-Chi’s, Chipotle, Costco, ConAgra, Dole, KFC, McDonald’s, Odwalla, Sizzler, Taco Bell and Wendy’s. He clearly knows his food borne bacteria.

At #2 on his list of the most dangerous foods are raw bean sprouts—including alfalfa, mung beans, clover and radish sprouts. These can make you very sick due to bacterial contamination of their seeds.

Raw bean sprouts smell like semen, and semen contains seeds—if you count sperm as being seeds.

So is semen safer to swallow than sprouts? I don’t know of any studies on this. But if semen wasn’t safe to swallow, millions of straight women and gay men would be hospitalized each year due to semenella poisoning. This does not appear to be the case.

There is reason for concern if you have bleeding gums AND your partner has Ebola, HIV, hepatitis, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea or perhaps HPV.

But in the overall scheme of things, French kissing (mouth to mouth) is probably a more frequent source of disease transmission than swallowing semen or eating sprouts.